- Your family photos are accompanied by text ads for skin care and diet plans.
- Removes all Falun Gong references from your files.
- Every month, the hard drive is automatically defragged and investigated for anti-trust violations.
- Invests in, develops, acquires, and abandons your best ideas.
- Integrated tax preparation software includes “I’m Feeling Lucky” deductible button.
- Changes your icons daily, forcing you to look up which obscure scientific figure is having a birthday.
- Spends 20% of its time on tasks not related to work.
- Prevents all evil activity unless it is deemed to be for the good of the shareholders.
- Masseuse comes by every Monday afternoon.
- Constant crashes won’t bother anybody as long as it’s labeled “Beta”.
- “Beta” status won’t expire until 2038.
These are of course all jokes so don’t get all offended and angry, oh wait that’s Apple fans – nevermind! :) [woot!]
